Duck Season

Those might be some snazzy song titles, but you can't beat The Simpsons when it comes to one-liners about school children.

See:

The fire department is called in to try to rescue the trapped pair. Chief Wiggum arrives, greeting the basketball-playing Eddie and Lou with, "That's nice work, boys." Mrs. Krabappel sees superintendent Chalmers arriving and takes great glee in pointing this out to the still hiccuping Skinner.

Chalmers: [voice rising] Skinner...!
Skinner: Superintendent Chalmers! You didn't have to come all the way down here. Everything's under control.
[fireman falls off ladder, which smashes the gym window]
Chalemers: Oh, I have had it, I have _had_ it with this school, Skinner! The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children --
Skinner: Oh, now I really think the children's appearance --
Chalmers: Seymour, you are in very, _very_ big trouble.
[SLH falls into his arms] Why, looking into this lovable mutt's eyes just melts my heart. Seymour, all is forgiven.
Willy: [yells] Make way for Willy!
[lands on Chalmers]
I said "Make way for Willy," you bloated gasbag.
Chalmers: Seymour...
Skinner: Hmm?
Chalmers: You're fired!
[Bart gasps]
Skinner: I'm sorry, did...did you just call me a liar?
Chalmers: No, I said you were fired.
Skinner: Oh. That's much worse.
-- In some ways, yes, "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song"

or:

Edna: Seymour, the teachers are fed up. You have to start putting money back into the school. You've cut back on everything: salaries, supplies, the food -- [takes a bite] -- I don't care what you say, I can taste the newspaper.
Skinner: Posh. Shredded newspapers add much-needed ruffage and essential inks. Besides, you didn't notice the old gym mats.
[Lunch Lady Doris feeds some into a grinder]
Doris: There's very little meat in these gym mats.
Edna: Our demands are very reasonable. By ignoring them, you're selling out these children's future!
Skinner: Oh, come on, Edna: we both know these children _have_ no future!
[all the children stop and look at him]
[chuckles nervously]
Prove me wrong, kids. Prove me wrong.

-- The Skinnerian challenge, "The PTA Disbands"